Monday, October 26, 2015

FISHY THOUGHT:PAST LOVES, INFATUATIONS and HOW THEY BLOCK US

I felt inspired this week to write about my ex Sean. I love him, truly love him, and yes I'am married.  I can't see myself with out my engine the one who started Marie Moore horoscopes. The one who I try to be like because he reminds allot  of Jesus and sometimes I call him Jesus.  He loves me so much he can't keep my name out of his mouth. Yes, people I don't even know, know who I'am because thats how much my husband loves to talk about me and that is how proud he is of what we accomplished: as business partners, and as a family.  This week, Adele ,Hello came out and all of a sudden a flood of emotions about Sean came out.
I felt  like I needed to talk to Sean. I wanted to reconnect with him. I know if I were to reconnect with him.We would start were we left off like nothing ever happened.This is because we both have Saturn in Virgo, north node in Leo. My moon in Taurus and his sun in Taurus.We are very passionate with each other and love each other deeply. But we have had past lives together and we had and have karma with each other. Which means that it wont last. We didn't really break up with each other either. My mother broke up our relationship for us and also the universe. I was in a car accident and broke my ankle. I broke my ankle in Massachusetts where Sean lives.This energy changed everything. I wasn't able to walk on that foot period, and he wasn't able or wanting to take care of me Period. I remember the Head Doctor in charge of broke bones. Giving me his card and his phone personal phone number because he thought Sean was being abusive. I didn't think that he was abusive towards me. I think his reactions that he made to the doctor is what made the doctor concern. Maybe Sean's lack of empathy towards my situation was a red flag to the doctor. Any who , I went back home to Florida. The health insurance I had in Massachusetts wouldn't cover any rehabilitation that I got in Florida. My mother didn't want me to go back up to Massachusetts. So end my relationship with him. I tried to convince to come down to Florida, but because he was concerned of what his family thoughts of me , he stayed up there. He never called me ever again, never looked for me , I don't even know if I'm a thought? I had to do my own rehabilitation which took several months and hurt like crazy. I never really got over him, so he always was in the back of mind. This week with that song and it made me romanticize this relationship I had. I've been opening my chakras and letting go , letting go . Finally got over my mother, and then he comes up. I had to talk about with my husband. My husband said he would kill him. I delve more into what did that mean. I finally figured it out. I have a horrible time letting go of people in my past who I loved and still love.  I had  to this week delve deep and look at the relationship realistically. I feel that his idiosyncrasies were more than enough reason to let him go. Sean was very cheap, I had two jobs living on my own and sometimes he would stay with me. Never paid for a dam thing. Are dates were McDonald and if he had a coupon at Mcdonalds. I paid for everything.He cared very much about he looked so he would always be the last to leave. He cared what his family thought, and I don't think they liked me,he liked to be to himself and allot of times didn't live with me and stayed where ever he was at. Which I don't know . He had way to many female friends and the way I knew about them is on a needs to know basis.I was super needy , my mother was driving me batty because she would call his family or call anyone who would listen and tell them I'm crazy .Plus I didn't like being broke and I didn't like he didn't take care of me like he should. Isn't amazing how the mind can romanticize a situation that wasn't good for us and make us think it was absolute best relationship, when it wasn't.  So I started to think about this . I started to think about how the relationship really was and how my relationship with my husband was. As I began to do this and the song no longer made me feel a certain. I realized I let go that part of me and I 'm very much at peace with that part of my life.
 It's not a good idea to look at the past because the past never changes. If I were to visit him , I bet he hasn't change and I'll call it . He maybe single still because he was very stubborn in not changing his way of thinking and doing things. I realize that  memory or thought represent sometimes  a blockage that we need to remove. Sometimes we have to be discerning is it intuition talking or is it something I need to work.Rather than just running away with this thought. I thought differently about it because sometimes are brain . Brings up:people, or situations from our past because we need to let go of them. But we interpret that as it's are our intuition talking to us or we have to fullfill that need because we are thinking of it. Think of it this way every time . You had a nasty thought or a thought to kill someone you don't go after that thought. You dont intrigue that thought.You ignore it or even dismiss it. Maybe even intrigue for a second because your feeling some way about a person or your mad but you move on. We don't pursue it . So when we have thoughts of our past why pursue that. If your not willing to kill someone than why go back to someone? Why is it that we should intrigue that thought but not other thoughts we have in our day to day existence. Also you need to think of those past thoughts differently. Sometimes thoughts of the past and/or person represent something is wrong in our present . Sometimes we are unable to do something about or we don't want to confront it so we move back wards. So this is something to think about when you are thinking about someone from your past. This is an opportunity to remove a blockage.This is your brain saying you need this out of your  present data because its causing blockages with your future.