DEEP FISH THINKING BE A DELIBERATE CREATOR

I'am getting ready for Rosh hasHanah  . Every year I go to this and every year in August at this time four planets are in retrograde. Making you look at you and what you need to work on . This year I find myself being a deliberate creator. Meaning  I'm going to focus on my trip and do things like save money for my trip. Like focusing more on positive things and picking and choosing my help. Why because this is what works for me when I'm trying to create what I want. I deliberate  pick and choose  what I want in my movie.
This summer has been difficult for me because two of my grandparents on my husband side are passing. I learned that when I focus alot on missing them and being sad nothing happen with my money situation , nothing change with the number of subscribers on my youtube. Once I came to that realization that I need to not allow other people's journeys and situation affect me. I deliberately started turning my energy around. By delving more into my thoughts by choosing to be at peace.By making peace with their death and seeing it as a form of rebirth and yes they will be miss. The point is when the energy is difficult like that and it's affecting our reality we have to change our thoughts.
Sometimes what I notice doing readings alot of people say they want thing but their actions are saying something else. Example with the exs or those one night stands that come into our life. We have to remember or question why are they coming back into my life. Do I have karma or a past life with this person. Or maybe you did this action to this person  in this life so now you are watching karma. You have to question the relationship. Also when you move backwards especially with relationships know that nothing will change, it just repeats itself. Still the result is the same.  So why  go backwards because you are not ready for change, because your lesson is to learn to see with your logical side rather than your heart. So beaware when you are trying to be deliberate creator in your life. Be honest with yourself , when your trying to change. Because we all have something we really want and sometimes we are so blinded by the flaws of others that we can't or choose not to see the flaws with in ourselves.