Sunday, September 7, 2014

Deep fish thoughts, how deep this fish can swim

I think my purpose of my life is to go through my human journey and have some of these experiences to share with others. This month, I'm going to SanDiego for Rosh-Hannah. I will admit for a bit my faith was shaken because I spent so much money on this trip so much so I'm broke. My faith is being tested because I was in lack and thinking in lack  this must be fake Kaballah. Why am'I in lack, right now I don't have a phone, and I can't pay my bills. My month of August was horrible. I kept reading my cards to see when it will get better. Finally I stopped because I should have known better. Because in are darkest moments there is God, in are darkest hours there still hope and faith.
I'm still broke but I should have seen and acknowledge the blessing my family received before we went broke. My landlord gave us  more than enough vegetables to help survive the month of August. I took it as another sign as God is going to bless me with abundance, because we had so many vegetables from his farm we shared with my husband family. This was my test for me, did it change yes. I didn't run and blame my husband for the lack of money in our life. I stop blaming Kaballah because when I was really going through it. Kaballah pulled me out of my emotional self. So this experience that I'm going through is my journey to Rosh Hannah, a sign that I will receive greater blessings.  I have to go through this lack to appreciate the abundance coming after Rosh Hannah. So my mental state is peace, I've been working on myself emotionally with my husband, so I feel lighter and my faith in God is stronger.
When we are going through lack , we have to take this moment or month to realize it's not forever. Prayer really works when we are in the emotional tar and we have to acknowledge the sparks of miracles in our life. God is listening  and we have to be at a state of peace. You can't allow yourself to have negative conversations when your going through it because you'll continue to go through it. Then when your not going through it , you'll feel like you are going through it and not notice or acknowledge the blessing around you. Are emotional dictates how long you'll be in lack. When you stop having the negative conversation with yourself . Your life begins to change.
Take this time when your going through the lack to start praying everyday to God. When you prayer you can't threaten , don't make promises you can't keep,and don't force the prayer. Like your having a conversation with yourself . Also when you are having conversation with yourself start everyday saying positive things about yourself, because your hypnotizing yourself into being that way, so it comes to pass. Take this  time to clean your house throw at old things, old food because you want new things to come into your life. This I experience through hurrican Katrina. My mom made me give all my clothes away and she said God will give you more clothes because he sees you don't have any. Sure enough I had a ton of new clothes,it's something to think about. When we donate to others we bring light to ourselves and sparks of miracles